Eye F*ing

American Pride
As his wedding ring shines, Obama is photographed disrespecting his wife. I wish I could
believe that he is looking at her sandals, but the chuckler makes me think not. At least
Michelle Obama isn't standing next to him as he gawks at another woman's backside.

More times than I wish I had to remember, while I have been in love with my man, he has gone spacey staring at another woman! This is the lowest form of disrespect and it is so incredibly hurtful and inappropriate and wrong that I can't even think straight to write about how horrible of an abuse this behavior is. Men have made up stupid cliches that they "can look but not touch" and techniques they teach each other on looking in the direction the woman will be walking so that they can get an eye-full when she walks within their line of sight, etc!!!!! These are despicable and so awful that they should be humiliated publicly the second this bad behavior happens because otherwise they think it is ok to continue and they do it as often as they can when allowed to be "dawgs!" This is one of the most detestible acts any man can ever do to his lover, in my opinion, because he is totally and completely disrespecting his current woman that he is NEXT TO!!!!!! It is abusive, controlling, and it fuels negative emotions galore within his current relationship.

It adversely affects her by making her question herself on many levels, including:
* She begins to question her self-esteem, which just gets worse by the day when her man shows another woman the attention he SHOULD ONLY reserve for his woman
* She cannot even have the ability to trust because she has no control over her man's wandering eyes
* She loses her feelings of safety (she is SUPPOSED to be ABLE to feel safe in EVERY environment with her man as her protector who adores ONLY HER, NOT who gawks at other women making her worried and afraid to be ANYWHERE other women might be because she is scared of who her man will gawk at!
* She becomes self-conscious
* She has to look around to survey every environment like a warrior going out into a field of battle! ie: "What land mines might I come across if there are any women anywhere around my man?"
* She begins to notice all the negatives he says and does because now she is "on guard" all the time

There are many, many bad things that come out of "checking out" other women in front of your woman. It IS cheating, whether men want to admit it or not. Men gawk at me with that stupid mesmerized zombie look all the time, and I see it even in men who are standing right next to their woman, some who are oblivious and some who get upset. But it isn't that other woman's fault that a man can't keep himself in check. It is the man's responsibility to be a RESPECT-ABLE person and do the right thing all the time, every time.

The bible has a verse that says this and many many more that discuss it as a sin. I call it "eye-f*ing." I call the men who look at me with that dumbfounded look "zombies" and the ones who can't help but follow me around stores "stalkers" because they just freeze up staring. It is one of the faults of man that they cannot seem to THINK clearly when an attractive woman is around. They turn into zombies. I don't know what they think about or feel or what goes on in their head during those extended frozen moments, but it certainly doesn't look like they have anything in their brain at all. They look like they are watching, just frozen in time, dazed and confused, mindless. I have had this happen to me and I have seen men look at me this way. I want to scream about it, but it is so odd that instead I usually just watch to see what will happen like the zombies seem to be! It is surreal.


Observations that I have made about this phenomena:
* Men CANNOT stop doing it
* Men don't WANT to stop doing it
* Women don't know HOW to stop it
* Women are NOT to blame for it (women, you ARE better than her, he will likely never see her again, she is just a "glitter girl" and men are mesmerized by shiny things)
* There is no solution if a man is the type of man to do this and refuses to stop acting like a kid in a candy shop whenever other women are around
* If a man is the type to look, then he is the type who also at least wants to touch, and there is no hope for a man like that

I used to be a flirt with my eyes too. I used to love to get that validation from men when I entered a room. I used to not care if I was having a secret little momentary connection eye-flirting with another man while I was on my man's arm because I used to believe that there was no harm in it as long as my man didn't know it was happening. I changed after losing a good man for my wickedness.

I learned that I am disrespecting my partner by allowing that other person to think they might be better than my man, and/or they might have a chance with me, if this or that. Those private eye exchanges created a negative dynamic in my relationship that showed a complete disregard for my man's ego, his feelings, and our relationship as a whole. I was stealing each of those moments AWAY from my man. I was putting myself higher than my man. I was putting a total stranger who meant nothing to me and likely was a horrible person anyway to even be looking at me that way when I was there WITH another man, putting that total stranger on a pedestal higher than my own man, whom I KNEW had only MY best interests in his heart, not some sick pathetic conquest ego need to validate himself as an alpha dog over my man, who is a million times better because he is MINE, and I CHOOSE MY MAN, NOT SOME RANDOM SLEAZY STRANGER.

Now, whenever I am with my man, I honor MY man and my relationship with my behaviors. I GIVE my partner those little stolen moments instead of giving them to someone else. I feel better about myself because I am respect-able and honor-able. I feel much sexier than I ever felt before because I KNOW I am putting my own man on a pedestal and giving my lover that which WE NEED instead of throwing it all away for some momentary fleeting exchange. I give that connection to my lover instead of stealing it away from us. And guess what, those other random strangers want me even more, respect me for it, and give the proper due respect to my man because it is all handled the RIGHT WAY. No drama. No residual jealousy or negatives lingering under the top layer that will blow up in our faces later, no mistrust, nothing but great lovin' for being a good lover - as it should be.

So, men and women take notice. I am holding you personally responsible for your actions now that you have become educated on the difference between right and wrong, you are obligated to follow through by doing the right things.

man disrepecting his girlfriend who is in painful shock


What we all want:
* Validation to feel good about ourselves
* Acceptance as we are
* Respect
* To be the best (make your partner KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that they are number one the best on your list, and you will get rewards times a million)

Make your partner the focus of your attention and your partner will love you and trust you for it.

Don't respect your partner above all others and and you will lose miserably with drama following you around because nobody wants to be around anyone who makes them feel crappy!