LIE: NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL ANYTHING

"No one can make you feel anything" is a huge lie and it is so harmful to our society. Let me explain why...
If you are happy as can be, in love, excited about your life, thanking God every day for your wonderful life and relationship, and then your boyfriend tells you he is cheating on you, or you catch your girlfriend with another man, they DID make you feel devastated, betrayed, broken hearted. That is a TRUE FACT. They DID cause that reaction in you.
I can have a wonderful day and someone can do something awful that hurts me which DOES make me feel something, because I am capable of feeling emotions, of course. That's simple logic. It doesn't take an advanced degree to know this. It only takes using your brain to think of the example or going through that awful experience not regurgitating nonsense just because you heard it somewhere (from Psychologists who get paid to drag out your pain).
You are capable of independent thought to process the information and know it is a lie, and therefore NOT regurgitate that lie to others, so think before you speak and cause more pain in our society.

When I was 19, I started to get really deep into self-help personal improvement because I was recently divorced and in a relationship with a Marine who cheated on me 6 times in a 2 year relationship after my very short very abusive marriage and he cheated too, as well as dominated and controlled my every move. I was so confused at that time because I had left an abusive home to marry into abuse and then to date a man who also didnt value me. I didn’t do much else other than read self-help and psychology books and study human behavior, including astrology and psychology tests for 20 years saturated in the pursuit of HOW TO become the best version of myself that I could become. I can’t say that I have blossomed into an extraordinary person or that I found any secret magic to total transformation of negative traits, but what I can say from all of my experience in behavior modification is that MY secret is changing my mind to process broader philosophies and then, because my brain is functioning differently, my behaviors follow suit, with consistent efforts every time I ’screw up’ and don’t act in the ways that I WANT to, I correct, repent to myself, God, and anyone I need to apologize to, then I make a CONSCIOUS EFFORT to act as I believe is RIGHT.
They say is takes 28 days of consistency to make a new habit. I can tell you from my experience that I have been at this since I was in the 7th grade, full time devoted to this pursuit since I was 19, and I STILL don’t have the habits of perfect behavior in my theory of how the best person would act in situations, but I try every day to be my personal best and correct anything I do or say that I wish I didn't.
What does this meant to me? How can I still have the devotion to changing? Why try if its so hard to be a different person that our animal instincts and learned behaviors outwardly manifest? Because it makes me FEEL GREAT to BE GREAT. Plus, other people appreciate it and that brings peace to my life.
I LOVE MYSELF BECAUSE I TRY TO BE MY PERSONAL BEST SELF TO MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR US ALL TO LIVE TOGETHER. OK, so then how can I teach others to be their personal best version of themselves into an easy step-by-step Cliff’s (Kristen's) Notes workshop?
I have many workshops with step-by-step instructions, but this one is the hardest. Teaching values and proper behavior is something that I constantly write about in my blogs and Life Coaching, but do people actually apply my homework into their day to day lives? Yes, I know they do because they tell me they do, and I know I do, and I have seen it in my own personal relationships, so I know it IS possible.
When I am way over my limit of stress that I can deal with, I need to sit wherever I am at for about 10 minutes prepping myself to be calm and peaceful as is my normal nature IF people didn’t act badly. I do the Hugs From Heaven exercise (watch it on my YouTube channel) and it is a reset button for me to start back from my center. Now, let’s explore the Psychology of ’I can’t make you feel anything’ using these examples’

1) Last night before bed, my mom yelled at me about wanting to use the jacuzzi. I slept over anyway because I was watching the Dalai Lama videos and I don’t have unlimited internet at my cabin. I woke up this morning happy and excited to work on my book. I was excited that it is going to be 80 degrees today. I planned on working outside. I was getting up putting my stuff out on the back patio and about to make some coffee to watch some more Dalai Lama videos and do some research before writing this (which I was never able to do). Instead, she yelled at me about a big plant that cut me whenever I walked into the spa room, so I moved it. She doesn't just say something once, she yells and goes ballistic for half an hour and uses verbal abuse as a communication tactic. I was immediately in a bad mood, my entire day’s plan was shot, and now I had to leave to have any peace, without coffee, without watching the videos I planned on watching today, without getting anything done that I wanted to do, all because of drama that I did not intend to create at all, and which would have gone on and on and on all day and will come up a month later too.
So, now explore this part in detail to evaluate the real life truth and untruths about that psychology statement ’I can’t make you feel anything’’
I didn’t feel drama before drama was introduced into my day from outside of myself.
I need to be able to retain my peace no matter what is going on around me.
I should be able to be nice and kind and loving and accepting even when someone is yelling at me.
The lesson that Psychologist who invented the theory that "No one else can make you feel anything" is trying to promote with the principle that is getting regurgitated by our society WRONG and is causing harm teaches that we are responsible for controlling our own emotions, NOT that anyone can say and do anything to hurt other people and it is all acceptable behavior, no matter how rotten some people are.

Do you see the difference?

2) Today as I was driving to the coffee shop to write and use their internet to do my mission work, to get my peace back, when I almost got hit 3 times by careless drivers, instead of yelling and perpetuating those negative emotions and drama inside myself and externally in how I was acting mad at those drivers, what I SHOULD have been doing was looking up to God and asking for peace and patience and repenting for how angry and worried and stressed out I was about my car and my own general well-being, which is in real life INTACT. I AM SAFE. I was not going to die and my car would not be totaled. In reality, I really had nothing big going on that I would even need to worry about at all.
So, then my perception of my reality was my reality and those others should not have been able to make feel any drama because I should have myself in check under control behaving in the ways that my mind and heart WANTS to. This is the lesson in how to change your behavior to be your personal best in all those moments when life isn’t perfect and it is not easy to be peaceful internally and externally. It STARTS inside your own mind.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AND YOUR BEHAVIORS WILL FOLLOW.
I can’t do anything about what has already happened because after the milk is spilled, yelling about it is ridiculous and accomplishes nothing. It just needs to be cleaned up and more milk needs to be poured into the glass. If the milk is out, the reality either way, whether you yell or remain calm is still that you need more milk. So why ruin the peace over something that is NOT able to be changed because it has already happened? You simply cannot change reality. You just have to learn how to ACCEPT IT PEACEFULLY AS IS.
How do you do that?
You REMEMBER WHY when the NEXT TIME comes.
It takes the bad experiences when things were crazy and awful to LEARN THE LESSONS and that is how your behaviors changes over time. Each time something happens that would give you the OPPORTUNITY to do better than last time, you do better than last time, and eventually, you WILL BE BETTER.

*Defining bad behavior:
I have other articles on this topic that I want to refer you to. There is a Code of Conduct, and there are many articles developed to change your mindset and therefore your behaviors around common life topics on my FREE ADVICE ONLINE page on this website YOU decide what you believe is right for your life and others around you, but I provide resources to help you think about those areas of your life, so that you develop SOLID PHILOSOPHIES THAT YOU LIVE BY. If you don’t think about what defined good behavior then you just winging it all the time and you are definitely going to do things that you and others around you don’t want to define you. When you have a mindset of what you want to do in various situations, then you have a GUIDE to follow.

Please explore this website and tell me how the articles I write help you.

It hurts our society every time these kinds of lies that DISCONNECT people are spread around.
"I can't make you feel anything, no matter what i do to you" is a total lie and a horrible lie. every one of us ARE responsible for the consequences of every one of our actions. period. you can't erase that truth just because someone says some nonsense that isn't even true.
If you cheat, you ARE responsible for the earthquake of destruction that your cheating CREATES in this world.
If you lie, you ARE responsible for the earthquake of destruction that your cheating CREATES in this world.
If you use someone for money, you ARE responsible for the earthquake of destruction that your cheating CREATES in this world.
If you hurt someone, you ARE responsible for the consequences and their pain, and all that comes with healing that which you caused.
If you call someone a bad name, you ARE responsible for the earthquake of destruction that your cheating CREATES in this world.
If you do anything wrong to wrong someone else, you ARE responsible for the earthquake of destruction that your cheating CREATES in this world.
So stop being a jerk and stop compounding your jerkness with trying to squelch the real life consequences of your bad behaviors.
You CANT "get away with" using someone, or get upset with someone because they tell you what you did wrong when you DID do something wrong that is not acceptable behavior. you can't just turn people off like a TV. people aren't robots. people have thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, goals, dreams, and you cant get away with throwing a monkey wrench at another person and then run off and pretend they don't exist.
There ARE consequences to your actions. one way or another, karma will bite you back for biting someone else. so stop being a jerk and grow up.